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This is too funny!

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This is too funny!

Postby lechilka26 » Sat Aug 26, 2006 12:46 am

Sorry for this offtopic but it's damn funny :))) I could not hold it!

Why it is good to be a man?

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work .. more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me.".
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

so fuunnyy :))
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Postby BuZz » Sat Aug 26, 2006 1:07 am

:lol:

"20. You can open all your own jars. "

I thought this until the other day, where a jar of pasta sauce was definitely taking the piss. I tried everything. I had the jar between my legs, using a damp cloth to try and open it. No good. In the end, I got my workmate out of the shed, and clamped the jar in place allowing me to use both hands on the lid :-) it was a real bitch! but ..

I WON!!!!!
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Postby BuZz » Sat Aug 26, 2006 1:30 am

I don't know why I replied to you. Even though the post was funny, I do know you are probably a spam bot.. If you are not I apologise. Hard to tell when you don't have the ability to fill out the web address details etc. Plus you gave me the opportunity to tell my jar story.
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Postby Coma » Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:27 pm

I usually just punch a hole in the lid to release the vacuum. Then I replace the lid with an old one I have saved (luckily most jars use standard dimensions for the lid) or just use the punched one if the contents are not particularly sensitive to air (pickled cucumbers or whatever). You have been watching "Household tip of the day", presented by Exotica.
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Postby BuZz » Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:29 pm

great tip! thanks.
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Re: This is too funny!

Postby WarpedJuicerNeim » Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:15 pm

lechilka26 wrote:Sorry for this offtopic but it's damn funny :))) I could not hold it!

Why it is good to be a man?

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.


Too True :twisted:
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Re:

Postby spectral » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:14 pm

Coma wrote:I usually just punch a hole in the lid to release the vacuum. Then I replace the lid with an old one I have saved (luckily most jars use standard dimensions for the lid) or just use the punched one if the contents are not particularly sensitive to air (pickled cucumbers or whatever). You have been watching "Household tip of the day", presented by Exotica.


You can just hit the lid (where it's closest to the glass, on the edge) and make a dent, preferrably with the BACK side of a knife. This should also release the vacuum plus it leaves the lid intact to be screwed back on later. Or you can stick some old knife you don't care about under the lid and wiggle until the vaccum is broken.

Dear me, you can definitely tell we are not 15 year old any longer. Back then you'd probably just have smashed the whole jar and eaten it off the floor..
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